musings & recent work

twenty twenty | a colorful quarantine

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You guys. I did it! I went one whole year without working (minus shooting family…but that doesn’t count). I didn’t even blog. Until now. And this is a celebratory post. Not a work one. This is me popping in to say hello but only because it might be the first time this year I’ve had time to myself to do so. Jordan took all of the kids except Ella (who was born an adult and takes care of herself) to Lava for New Years. And I stayed home. Because I’m all vacationed out. My brain is going a million miles an hour and it can’t handle doing nothing/relaxing one day more. It feels so good to have some space and to have a chance to miss them. I’m not there yet, but will be by Saturday when they return.

So how did my 2020 go? Well you know…the world fell apart. BUT other than that, I can’t complain. Last fall, I trusted the heavenly voice that told me it was time to take a break from work. It was so hard to understand why and to process all of the emotions that came as a result of that choice. I remember last new year’s eve. It was raw and awful. I was a mess from having to let my business go. But now I look back in awe at how blessed I’ve been because of that choice. My kids were sent home from school mid march and they’ve never returned. We’re the only school district in Utah that hasn’t allowed any in-person learning. I didn’t originally know it would pan out like that, but come August when I heard we wouldn’t be starting in person I again felt a nudge telling me to pull my kids and home school. It’s been SO hard but I know the right choice for our family. Teaching while parenting takes ALL my energy. The good part to that is I haven’t had any time or energy to miss working. I did make sure to shoot my kids throughout the year however. And I had two brothers get married plus I shot a few family sessions for silblings, so my camera didn’t get too dusty. But it’s been fun to see that there’s more to me than photography at the end of the day. I think I needed to prove that to myself more than anything else.

But with that said, I still want to share with you my 2020 family album. I can’t belive how much my kids grew this year. Compare Hazel in the spring blossoms to Hazel in her 80’s Halloween costume. It’s like, boom. She and Ella turned into little women over night. (I think most of your know this, but also in March Ella was diagnosed with Grave’s Disease so that alone has forced her to mature in ways I wished she hadn’t had to).

I’m crazy excited for 2021. I wasn’t until a few weeks ago when that voice once again told me to JUMP. This time it said. “Here. Buy a house. I know you weren’t looking but this one is perfect for you. You need it. And you want it. You just wouldn’t admit to yourself that you wanted it. And it’s only two more blocks east. So just like last time. Move. But don’t leave the neighborhood. You love it too much here.” So I jumped. I prayed for a miracle (you know what I mean if you’ve been looking for a house to buy in this current market). And then I gave up on the miracle to soon. But it came when it wanted and now I’m busily decorating a home in my head (and on facebook) because I still don’t have the keys. They’re coming. I know it. I’m hoping two more weeks and then I can actually measure and get things ordered. So the moral of the story is if you want to avoid being distraut, just have a little more faith and patience when heaven asks you to do things. They know what they’re doing up there. Down here. Yep. The world’s still a mess. But there’s beauty in it! And SO much family togetherness. Which at the end of the day is actually an okay thing by me.

Happy New Year everyone. Not sure when you’ll hear from me again. I *think* I’m open to working a little in 2021 but I haven’t actually decided yet. I still have kids to teach until May and now a house to pack up and one to move into but if you’re needing a photographer it’s not a no, it’s a maybe. I’m mean if there’s anything 2020 has taught us, it’s that we shouldn’t ever plan or make concrete decisions ever again right?

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